Spank Thy Loved Ones.

"It came, 'Make paddles. Give them away.’ God told me to make them. God's going to have to tell me to quit."

- Joey Salvati, on why he makes spanking paddles to help parents discipline their children, 2007.

Salvati, a Pennsylvania home remodeler, began making the Spanking Paddle after several conversations with God while he showered. Salvati tried to blow off the unusual demand: “I blew it off. The fourth time, it came real hard.” So he obeyed. And since then, his paddles, marked with the words “Never in anger”, have been sent out to more than 1,300 parents with kids who need a good smack.

This holy entrepreneur doesn’t believe in beating kids, but believes they need to learn. He’s even written a spanking manual, complete with a spanking schedule that helps parents know how many whacks to give and when. These guidelines, as outlined by God, include one swat for being disrespectful and five swats for drinking. Salvati also created appointment slips so parents and children can arrange a suitable spanking time for each offense.

Despite complaints from anti-spanking groups, Salvati continues his duty: "I'm not trying to make money on it. I don't care about the money," he said. "I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do."